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Showing posts from March, 2010

Going green….

West end Star Michael Ball
is going to play “Shrek”
in the musical stage version.
It’ll be fantastic……
Well worth the price of a ticket.
But wait till 2012......
Then he'll have a massive West End hit.

Gucci earplugs, I believe….

So the Pope says that , he won’t be intimidated, by all the criticism of his handling, of the latest sex scandal. (Wait till the 2012 sex scandal starts) Well if that doesn’t tell the World, that the Vatican never listens nothing will. This Pope is the beginning, of the end for the Catholic church. Seems to me the devil is at home, with the Holy C.

Green eyed Liz

As Joy Baher goes from
strength to strength with her CNN show
You can feel the jealously
from Elizabeth Hasselbeck
towards Joy on “The View”
on which they both appear.
There will be a scrap.
Soon............

She’s back………….

Watch out, watch out. Christina Aguilera Is planning a comeback. A talent show thingy.. Something about teams. Her team may not win. But she will......... About time too. Better than ever…….. However she has to take care in 2012 or else??

Gas on…….

Chris Evens has signed to play
the super hero Captain America.
Well he is used to playing camp.
Remember him from the Fantastic 4
When he played Johnny Storm
The Flame………..
I wonder if the gas
will be on full this time.

Agent & Friend

Reese Witherspoon has a new beau, Hollywood agent Jim Roth. What great news .. A perfect match, For them both. Baby 2012..... They should both beware March/April 2013

Rosie TV

Rosie O’Donnell is to return, To our TV screens in 2012. Thank God. About time we got someone with a sense of humour back on the airwaves. But it will get cancelled.

Walmart calling

If Michelle McGee
aka Jesse James’s mistress.
Thinks that she will benefit,
from all the attention she is
receiving will help her career.
Duh, Michelle you don’t have a career.
Although I hear Walmart
are looking for shelf stockers,
on the night shift.
Well she'll be able to put the "tell all" book
Jesse James will write on the shelves,
as she tries to read it.

Mental in New York

RHONY cast member Kelly Bensimon.
Why can’t everyone else see that she’s MENTAL.
Oh you do…..
Well for the rest of you.
This is the season that she will show her true colours.
Both on & off screen.

Beating around the wrong bush

Reggie Bush aka Mr Kim Kardashian,
Seems not to have learned his lesson.
He’s still hanging out in the wrong places
with the wrong people.
Especially pretty brunettes.
I sense a break, again.
But she'll be back.
But bet Kim keeps the ring.
She won't be sad for long.
She'll snag another idiot that plays with balls.
Only lighter......
Summer wedding bells.
But it'll end in divorce.........

Lofty bosses aka idiots

The bosses at British Airways.
Need to get off the thrones,
in their ivory towers and start to take note.
The trolley dollies need the wage rise,
That they are seeking.
If the bosses don’t pay,
This will get very nasty.

Gaga's Old Baggage

Scumbag Rob Fusari,
Lady GaGa's ex.
Is suing the Diva,
claiming that he created her.
Lady GaGa I suggest.
You send this wanker your
parents telephone number.
Then let him tell them he created you.
Stand back and watch the feathers fly.

New juicy role for Lucy.

Brit actor Gary Lucy.
Is set to play the late Kurt Cobain,
of grunge rock group “ Nirvana”
A big departure from Garys’ clean cut image.
However he’ll rock it !
But wait till 2012 and the tell all book appears re Cortney Love.
She won't be happy...........

Somethings a knocking in Hollywierd

The rumour mill in “Tinseltown” Says that the Natalie Wood, Death case is about to be reopened. If they do it’ll be very nasty. Personally I don’t think they will get anywhere. But 2013 may be a different story all together. Due to a different source.

Debut or Disaster ?…(the latter)

Heidi Montag has just filmed her debut movie role.
In a movie called “Just go for it”
With Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Anniston
& Adam Sandler.
Obviously a comedy.
I see this one going direct to DVD…..
Sometimes even Hollywood goes too far…..

Debut or Disaster ?…(the latter)

Heidi Montag has just filmed her debut movie role.
In a movie called “Just go for it”
With Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Anniston
& Adam Sandler.
Obviously a comedy.
I see this one going direct to DVD…..
Sometimes even Hollywood goes too far…..

Plain STUPID.

602lbs Donna Simpson
is trying to become the
World’s fattest woman.
She intends to eat her way
to 1,000lbs over the next two years.
She’s a mother.
I predict someone is calling
Child services as you read this.

So low, so stupid……..

So fame whore,
Katie Price aka Jordan.
Has finally got to the bottom of the barrel.
She wants to release a line of
Children's Cosmetics.
Featuring her daughter.
It won’t happen.
PETE CALL CHILD WELFARE NOW !!!!!!

George x2

Now that Boy George & George Michael,
have ended heir 20 yr feud.
We can look forward to a fabulous duet,
That will be a Worldwide hit.
Can’t wait.

Understanding Down Under.

It seems teen sensation Miley Cyrus,
Doesn’t quite understand her,
Aussie boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s
dry sense of humour.
Let’s hope she never dates a Brit Ha HA !
She need not worry about
learning the Aussie code of humour though..
He’ll move on to older bait very soon.

Lazer beam Gaga…..

Lady Gaga’s latest video for the “Telephone”
Once more shows her genius.
OK a lot of people just don’t get her at all,
Their loss.
Watch over the coming months,
As she reaches even greater heights.
A wonderful beam of light
In an otherwise dull World.

Shut your GOB !

Fame junky Andrew Cowles,
Husband of the Late Stephen Gately,
of Boyzone fame.
Needs to curl up in corner and disappear.
He’s done enough damage.
Yet still he screams for publicity.
Watch out Andrew,
The Karma Gods have you in their sights.

Love Story, Mr & Mr style.....

Jim Carrey & Ewan McGregor’s new movie, “I Love You Philip Morris” Will be a massive hit. So OK it’s going to upset, Some of those that dress to the right. But those that dress from centre to the left. Will love it………. ps Jim Carrey won't do Dumb & Dumber 2

Miss Step…….

Kate Gosslin on
“Dancing With the Stars” !?!?!
Come on you casting guys,
how low in the barrel can you reach?
She needs to be gone in episode one.
So she can go look after her brood…….

Miami under siege

I feel so sorry for Miami, why you ask ?
Well those sub humans from the show
“ Jersey Shore “ aka CRAP.
Are heading to Miami to film the next season.
Time to set up blockades,
Citizens of Miami.
I sense trouble !

Follow your dream, make it big.

Heart throb Jeremy Renner,
has had a wonderful week.
Believe me there’s a lot more,
to come for this actor.
It is wonderful in Hollywood,
For a change to see a nice,
open guy to get to the top.
Well done,
Jeremy keep up the good work.

Rockwieller Camilla sent back to her kennel.

So The Queen is passing the British throne,
to Prince William.
So passing over Prince Charles.
Like that’s a surprise,
I’ve been telling folks for many years,
That Charles would never be King.
But watch the Shit that hits the fan from Camilla.
She’s going to get real dirty, it’s fabulous.
Camilla, the Karma Goddess just got you good & plenty.

Rush to donate for a one way ticket.

Rush Limbaugh, says he is going
to leave the good old USA.
To live in Costa Rica !
Now although I feel sorry
for the good people of Costa Rica.
Doesn’t it warm the cockles of your heart?
Sad though it won’t happen, damn !
But 2012 will be the time his career begins to fall apart.

Better than ever

Eva Mendes seems to have, been lying a little low of late. But don’t fret, she’ll be back in the spotlight very soon. With wonderful results……. 2012 engagement ring appears. But not from where people will think.

In West Hollywood inches !

Levi Johnston,
the ex nearly son in law of the Palins.
(lucky escape if you ask me)
Striped off, well nearly……..
He thinks he has a future in showbiz.
Duh, not likely.
But he’ll keep trying.
Levi, “Get an Education instead ”

Mr Slimey.....

John Edwards,
Needs to brace himself………..
If he thinks things have been bad lately.
They pale in comparison,
to what is about to come.
Especially in 2012......
THE END.

Definition of BITCH !

Debbie Rowe aka Ex Mrs Jackson. Feels she has been ignored of late. REALLY ! So she is showing (FAKE) … Sadness, hurt, ???? Crap, she just wants more money. She won’t get it. PS if she re-enters her children's lives in the next 3 years. It will be really bad news for her daughter.... REALLY BAD.......

Woman just sit down

So Sarah Palin her of teabags fame. Amongst other things. Is considering Stand up comedy ! You just can’t make this up. But by the end of the year she’ll be sitting down, Then in 2011/12 she'll kinda make a bid to run for President..... But won't.. So then she'll have to sit down for good. Plus when the book about her using coke comes out....... BYE BYE Palin.

Just go away……

Just when you thought “Octomom”,
Was fading into whatever……..
Wrong, I get the feeling,
she’s about to return……….
Worse than ever.
Wait till the child abuse turns up.
Which it will.......

Sharon, Fantastic !

I think Sharon Osbourne,
is going to have a very interesting year.
Along with all the odds & sods,
we are used to seeing in.
She’s got something new up her sleeve.
Which will be FANTASTIC!.
But 2013 will turn out to personally rough

Rising back up..

We all know Amy Winehouse, has had her problems.
But, watch as she turns her life,
over the coming months.
Hopefully staying on the right path.
Proving all her critics wrong…….