"THE SPIRITUALIST" Brings you Psychic Gossip from Hollywierd

  JESUS ON HIS TEA BREAK “YOU GO, DAD!” Somewhere in Heaven, presumably just beyond the bit with the pearly gates, there is a staff room. Nobody talks about the staff room. It isn’t in the Bible. Michelangelo never painted it. The great theologians somehow missed it altogether. Nevertheless, I am convinced it exists. There must be somewhere up there where everybody can put their feet up after several thousand years of listening to humanity asking for lottery numbers, parking spaces, football victories, revenge upon irritating neighbours and divine intervention concerning people they themselves married voluntarily. On this particular afternoon, Jesus was having his tea break. Feet up. Sandals off. Cup of tea beside him. iPad balanced comfortably across his knees. He had finally discovered online games and was thoroughly enjoying himself. After two thousand years of people arguing about precisely what he’d said, what he’d meant, what he’d worn, what he’d...